I never forget what i often say, this's my last decision to move on!! Yeah i would never denied what it has meant to be since i first telling you till now. That decision would never ever change....
Occasionally I tell myself, don't worry everything should always be fine, always be mine.... Somehow I really stuck really feel suck, when it turns like my world is just sticks on the way to be alone all over again. I definitely have nothing in head when it starts brainstorm new ideas for stopping the time not to move, stopping my world not to move, it finds no way to do so. Now my mental may indirectly cracking down cause of nonsense feeling, no reason it just keep thinking, scaring itself that it would gone insane again when the time arrive. I know it would come any time since I can't force & I may not force. It's reality that i'm just on the way to discover another huge pain for my life if there wasn't any change. I really have no hope for it maybe 1%, i can't ignore the truth i can't refuse the fact of my fate. Sometimes It's just too dramatic for me when my eyes come to weep like a gal or a babe kid while i listen to some music (Kom Joul Mneak Nis Ban Te - Nico), Some lyric of that song keep playing non-stop in ma ears "Pi Phob Louk Kom Pong Ro Ngea, Krob Pel Nirk Khernh Tha Pouk Yerng Neng Baek Knea, Ah-nit Phong, Bong Snaeh Pom-ngea Lers Avei Avei". However If it happened to be like that I would be happy still & also smile for you because at least I could see you'd fully recover & could see your sweet smile though i might guess knew that i would be broken into pieces.
Remember I'm always here to cheer you up, with a large place to wash your tears by using mine!!
lynever (15th Feb 2011)
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